I took July off to rejuvenate. I did this because I had become a well oiled machine. I was no longer taping the Creative source within and my inspiration for the tips was dying. During my “sabbatical”, I discovered that while I “talk a good talk” about being present to the moment, I forgot how to “walk” it. The extent of my downward spiral became clear to me when I attempted to take an entire day to have “purposeless fun”, as suggested by Julia Cameron in The Artist Way.
On this particular day in July, I cleared my schedule, packed a lunch and set off for a day’s adventure. I was having a delightful time until 1pm. After 4 hours of fun, my mind went on a “seek and destroy” mission as I tried to come up with tasks that needed to get done. The reality was that there were NO tasks; I was feeling guilty and restless because I had forgotten how to be purposeless. Does this happen to you? Have you become so efficient that you have forgotten to relax and just enjoy Life?I became intrigued by what happened to me and decided to look at my situation and explore exactly what had occurred. I discovered the following dynamics that rob me of the ability to enjoy the moment. I also created some possible antidotes that may assist you.The Traps:
The “Shoulds” - I have a very long list of things that I want to get done or think that “should” get done which makes it difficult to have free time. In addition, I have a high need to be in control; competing with God to be the master of my Universe. AA has an expression “let go and let God”. When I allow this to happen, inspiration and ideas flow to me and my “tasks” get easier.
“Old tapes” - Messages from my childhood play in my head and influence my behavior. One such message: “If you are not busy you are lazy”. Since there is always something that needs to get done, it causes me to become a well oiled machine. This machine works fairly efficiently for about six months but then it begins to break down when it is not regularly maintained.
Innate disposition - I am a highly active person; it is challenging for me to be still physically or mentally. My hyperactivity is a blessing and a curse. On one hand it keeps me productive and thin but on the other hand, I miss Spirit that is embedded in life.
The Antidotes: If this is your reality, what can you do about it? How do you ground and center yourself amidst the demands of life?
1.Be objective about your “to do” list. Is it overzealous? How can you make it more realistic? What non-essentials can you remove from the list and push off to another day? What can you permanently discard or delegate? A way to help you figure this out is to remind yourself of your over all goals for the day, the week, the month or in life. Then take a step back and re-prioritize what really needs to get done.
2.Identify your feelings of uneasiness when they occur. Are they reality based or are they caused by one of your old tapes or issues? If they are unrealistic and causing you stress, come back to your center as you become aware of the LIFE around you. Take a moment – to stop, notice and breathe in the beauty of nature.
3.Utilize self talk – Remind yourself of your priorities in life: your health, your family, your spirituality.Tell yourself that you are “allowed some free time” because it will revitalize you and ultimately keep you more productive.
Blog/Reflection Question:
What is one of your “traps”?
What “antidote” do you use to be in the moment?
Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal. … Sydney J. Harris
During the next two months, I will be practicing what I preach. I am taking the month of July to refill my “energy” pitcher in order to have more creativity and enthusiasm for my clients and readers. I will be taking this time and sacred space to be curious and inquisitive as I have “adventures”. In the month of August, I will begin to ease back into “Journey Back to Self” as I collect material for the self help tips and continue to put the program into book form.
I hope you too will take the necessary time to renew your spirit. If you want ideas on ways to do this, may I suggest that you click on following tips:
In her book, Waking up to this Day, Paula D’Arcy writes that “awakening to the present moment… is to look withoutfilter…. (to) stop relating to life and others primarily through expectation … to meet each person, place, or thing directly….” Earlier this month, I wrote about 3 principles of mindfulness: recognition, non-attachment and acceptance. In this tip, I would like to take the opportunity to be more concrete with these mindfulness principles and continue to encourage you to have a wonderful summer.
Recognition is an important first step. It is when you become aware of what is happening in a particular moment. An easy way to develop this habit is by taking 5 minutes each morning to stop and notice the beauty of day. Look at the sun rise, the spring rain or the birds chirping because they are just as real as your day’s agenda. If your thoughts start nudging you with the “to do’s of the day” notice them, say the word “click” and send them off for those few minutes. Take some slow breaths and just allow yourself to breathe in the beauty of the moment as you pay attention to Nature around you. Notice how your body begins to relax and become calmer. If the clanging persists, investigate the feelings using soft mental notes (see June tip 1) and become aware of the way your body is experiencing the moment. Where in your body are you feeling sensation: your neck, your heart, your head? What does it feel like? Do you have some resistance? Allow yourself to accept what you are feeling as you develop non-attachment and continue to become aware of LIFE in the moment.
Non-Attachment is when you no longer adjust the interpretation but simply notice the situation and your feelings as they exist. You let go of judgment and logic and become lessbogged down with the “what if’s” or “if only”. As you allow yourself to step back, you will discover that you have more inner resources and limitless possibilities. Life will throw you some curve balls this summer. Resistance is a waste your time and energy. Your baby sitter will cancel at the last moment, your elderly mother might get hospitalized and your car might break down. My favorite expression here is “if these are the cards that I have been dealt, how do I want to play them?” True strength comes from being unconcerned about life in a particular moment and developing an indifference to adversity or joy as you move into the stage of acceptance.
Acceptance is living out the Serenity prayer: “To change what you can change, accept what you can’t change and the wisdom to know the difference”. This summer, could you begin to accept the interruptions in your life as part of life? This is especially true if you are a mother whose school age children are home for the summer. Their constant demands will challenge you to let go of your own agenda and be present to their moment. Or maybe you are someone caring for an older parent or working for a demanding, inconsistent boss; when a crisis arises, your needs must be put on hold to attend to them. What if you stopped resisting these interruptions since you have to deal with them anyway? What if you simply notice how you feel, using soft mental notes (see June tip 1), then just address the needs? How would this change the situation? For one thing, when you stop resisting and accept your present reality, you will relax and have extra energy to explore more creative solutions to deal with the problem.
As I mentioned, summer is such an easy time to enter into “Life” because the beauty of nature beckons you into the moment. Each morning, take a little time and examine your day or your week. Decide to re-prioritize it and let go of “non-essentials” and unnecessary “shoulds”. Let go of “old tapes” that have limited you and open your mind to all the possibilities before you.The beauty of this moment is as true as the pain of your past or the challenges that are around the bend. The way that you live this summer can develop into the way that you live your life. Starting today, make the decision to become mindful. Ask yourself “How do I want to BE today?” “How do I want to BE this moment?” Then make the decision to do so. Begin to look at interruptions as an invitation to stop and be present to something new and different. Listen to the birds, feel the breeze, smell the flowers and notice how your body relaxes. Will you choose to notice LIFE? Will you find a slot of time to take off by yourself to “be” in nature? Could you commit to spending more time with activities that bring you joy even if just for today?
Blog/Reflection question:
What will you commit to doing differently this summer?
What is one activity that would make you very happy?
If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.
This month, I want to introduce you to the practice of mindfulness in order to assist you in having a more relaxed summer. What is mindfulness? It is the ability to be open to LIFE as you observe, in a non-judging way, your thoughts and feelings in a particular moment. When you are mindful, you observe the experience rather than evaluate it. Rather than forcing or directing your thoughts or emotions, you step back, take a breath and view the moment with curiosity. (Inhen & Flynn Mindfulness).If you are like most of us, you have been taught to stay in your head and judge your experience against your expectations. You interpret the occurrence through the lens of “old tapes” that were created around old messages and beliefs. Often these viewpoints have the theme of you not being good enough and tend to be vague and negative statements. When you hear these tapes, begin to use “soft” mental notes - simply label the process as a “thought or” “feeling”, then redirect your mind to your breath and focus on the moment which is equally true. Labeling will help you take a step back from your feelings and become more objective. When I become aware that my mind is off on a disquieting flight, I say the word “click” and, taking a few deep breaths, I bring myself back to the present.
In order to become more mindful this summer, I invite you to practice the following steps:
Acknowledgment is the first step as you become honest with yourself and acknowledge the present reality because it has an impact on you even if you are unaware of it. For example, the driven, stressed-out executive who denies the cost of her lifestyle will still be suffering even if she is not conscious of it or know the reason. When you deny your dissatisfaction, your anger, longings and desires, your spirit will become dissatisfied and feel conflict. It is only when you acknowledge your situation and the toll that it is taking on you that you can decide whether or not to evoke changes.
Non-Attachment is when you no longer adjust your interpretation but simply notice and accept the situation and your feelings as they exist. You let go of judgment and logic and become lessbogged down with the “what if’s” or “if only”. As you allow yourself to step back and accept your reality as it is, you will discover that you have more inner resources and limitless possibilities. My favorite expression here is “if these are the cards that I have been dealt, how do I want to play them?”
Acceptance invites you to become indifferent to the outcome as you let go of any subtle resistance to your present situation. It does not mean that you cannot work to improve a situation and it should not be confused with passivity. It is the recognition that at this moment in time this is your reality and there is little else that you can do to change it. You develop open-mindedness to whatever exists before you. When you practice acceptance and no longer resist a situation, you will notice that dilemmas that seem difficult often become workable. A few years back, I had a free ticket to Greece. The only catch was that I had to spend 7 hours in Orly Airport in Paris! What to do about this situation? I could curse the airline gods or accept the fact and figure out what to do with my free time. I decided to make the day an “adventure”. I packed items to amuse me and since I only had 2 Euros left in my pocket, I was determined to find the eatery that would give me the biggest bang for my buck (Euro). I spent hours checking out every shop and kiosk, staying curious and inquisitive and I finally found a croissant and tea avec latte (tea with milk) in a little cafe, for less than 2 Euros. I was even able to leave a tip!!! I was so busy having fun, that I was almost late for my boarding.
During the spring and summer months, nature provides us with a wonderful invitation to BE in the present moment. Will you accept the invitation? Will you begin to practice the above suggestions in order to develop a mindful disposition? In the second half of the June tip, I will share more specific ideas on how you can enjoy summer more fully as you use mindfulness to more fully awaken to the present moment.
Blog/Reflection questions:
What are some of your old tapes?
What prevents you from living in the present moment?
“The emergence and blossoming of understanding, love, and intelligence has nothing to do with any outer tradition. It happens completely on its own when a human being, wonders, listens, and looks without getting stuck in fear.,” Toni Packer Zen teacher
After reading last month’s tip, Dara wrote “I often wonder if I have a tattoo on my head that says use me”. Do you wonder too? Do you have a generous heart and like to help others but often feel tired, unappreciated and resentful? Are you in relationships that have no clear rules or limits in behavior? If so, I invite you to explore the following dynamics as you ask yourself the following questions and consider these possible solutions:Ask yourself if this person is asking for your support and if the request appropriate? Sometimes an individual is merely looking for a listening ear. When you are an enabler, you tend to feel duty bound to fix the situation. When someone comes to you with a problem, take a deep breath and listen, then ask them “what do you need?” and “how would you like me to help you?” For years, I jumped in and offered my daughter lots of solutions when she discussed her problems. This resulted in both of us feeling frustrated! I thought that she was not listening to my sage advice. She just wanted to vent, knew she could solve her own, and took my advice as a vote of no confidence.
Sometimes a person does approach you with a specific request for assistance. In this case, you want to ask yourself if this is a reasonable request and consider if you have the time, energy or desire to assist them. While helping others can be seductive and feed your inner enabler’s need to be needed, you do not want to prevent another from learning life’s lessons. An example of this is the parent who always brings her “forgetful” child’s homework to school or drives them to school when they miss the bus. Does this merely perpetuate irresponsibility? Would it better for the child to have the consequences in school rather than later in life as an adult? It might be more helpful for the parent to allow the child to “fail” and encourage personal responsibility by compassionately asking “what do you need to do about it?” or “what can you do learn in order to avoid it happening next time?”
Do you feel good about your participation? Enablers tend to feel used because they go too far with their help. While it stems from the generous heart, they will often over function and end up feeling exhausted, unappreciated and resentful. This is a case where you want to measure the ROI (see Sept 08 tip). If you are unsure about whether you want to be of assistance, tell them that you will need to get back to them, then step away and get some distance.
Is the individual doing 50% or more of the work? Do you feel as if you are dragging the person up the hill? Are you doing the majority of the person’s work? If you are working harder than the person that you are trying to help, you are over-functioning. I have discovered that when I do cartwheels to try to get a client to do something for their “own good” I am actually more invested in the outcome than my client. This has become a red flag for me to step back, take a breath and ask them what they want.
As a psychotherapist, helping others is very seductive to me and I know that I have tendencies toward enabling. To counter my enabling, I keep the client’s goals in mind and respect the person’s right to make his/her own choices; even if I do not agree with the alternative. Rather than give advice, I try to offer several possible solutions and assist them in listening to their inner wisdom.
If you have a “need to be needed”, allow yourself to recognize this fact and explore the reasons that motivate you. Is it habit? Is it the way you define yourself? Begin to look at the benefit you get from helping others and the cost to you. Examine your triggers as you refrain from automatically offering help and giving advice. Notice your reaction after helping and see if you feel used and resentful? Begin to set clear boundaries and standards and speak up right away when you feel you are being treated unfairly. Trust that you know what you want and need and that your feelings are important. Remember, if someone has to be unhappy or do all the giving it does not always have to be you!
Blog Question:
1. What are some boundaries you have set recently?
2. What are the most difficult types of boundaries for you to set and enforce? With whom?
”It never occurred to me that simply because a deed was good in nature, and put before me, that I was not the one to fulfill it, even if I did have the talents to do so”The Gift of the Red Bird by Paula D’Arcy
Are you drained from giving to others? Do you tend to believe that it is selfish to ask for what you want? Have you been called a martyr? If your answer is yes, you might wish to consider the possibility that you are an enabler.
Enablers are motivated by love and the need to be needed; qualities especially encouraged in females. An enabler is a person who through his or her action allows someone else to achieve something. Most often the term enabling has been associated with alcoholism but it can include other types of relationships.Enabling is considered codependent because the act will often satisfy a need to help someone, but simultaneously foster dependency. Are you an enabler? Are you in any co-dependent relationships? Have you wondered why?
If you are like most enablers, you were born with a generous heart and enjoy helping others. You might have been an older sibling or had non-available parents and it was necessary for you to step into the void and help your family. Somewhere along the line, your behavior became reinforced and you began to absorb into your identity that your role in life was to help others. As you received positive re-enforcement, it helped you feel good about yourself. Eventually, your role became cemented into the system and people stopped appreciating your kind acts and came to expect them. This response caused you to develop a low self esteem and feel selfish when you were not taking care of others.
Enabling behavior is reinforced by a need to be loved and needed and unconsciously you think that you can only maintain relationships by placating others. You learned to avoid conflict by giving in to the unrealistic demands of others and began to believe that this was the only way that you would be loved. You learned to ignore and overlook problems because to address them or your feelings would be too risky; loved ones might get angry and reject you. Unfortunately, this behavior exacerbates the loss of self because with each capitulation, you further disconnect from your true feelings and minimize your sense of entitlement as you become prey to more selfish people. You find yourself filled with takers with no reciprocity in your relationships!
If these sound familiar, what can you do about it? The first step is to recognize that you are an enabler or have tendencies toward enabling. Then make the decision to practice some new ways of relating to people. Begin to state the affirmation that “I am as important as everyone else” or “I do not have to give in order to be loved”. Next begin to engage in activities that bring you pleasure, as you give yourself some of the pampering that you usually give to others. Make a commitment to look for new healthier relationships and go slowly. Speak up if you feel you are being treated unfairly, graciously accept assistance when offered and abstain from over functioning.
Are you an enabler? Do you feel stuck? If so, send me your concerns and I will answer them mid May, as I continue to explore dynamics involved in enabling and offer suggestions on ways that you can change your relationships.
Blog question:
Who in your life uses you and does not treating you respectfully? What do you do about it?
How have you lost yourself for the sake of a particular relationship?
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know. W.H. Auden
At the beginning of the April, I asked you to look in your mirror and do a self assessment. What did you find? Did you find your strengths or did you realize that you lack awareness of your positive qualities? Are you unable to receive honest feedback and accept compliments? Could you be viewing yourself through a mirror of modesty?
The modesty mirror seems to affect women more than men. Girls are taught to be demure and avoid being boastful. Studies have found that in grade school boys are recognized and praised for calling the answer out and being outspoken, while girls are tamped down and corrected for the same behavior. When a girl is raised to believe that she is being boastful and prideful, if she “blows her own horn”, she will develop into a modest, demure woman and discount or minimize her achievements. The problem is that since your words become your reality, you believe your words and begin to see your accomplishments as nothing special, even if they are spectacular.
Years ago, I attended an intensive graduate program and became cognizant and comfortable with my strengths, as well as my weakness. In my first job assessment, my supervisor was taken aback when I unabashedly listed my professional assets during my annual evaluation. When she commented on how surprised she was that I could so easily rattle this list off, I explained that I could equally list my areas that needed further growth, but that was not what she requested.
Do others see you more positively than you view yourself? Do you ignore or dismiss positive statements that people say about you? Notice if the voices in your head are whispering “anyone could do that”,” it is not a big deal” or “they are just being nice”. One of the things I encourage you to do is to pay attention when you get a compliment and see if it gets repeated. If so, write it down and put it in a box to be taken out on a “rainy day” when you are having a negative self image day. If a compliment is heard more than once you may wish to entertain the fact that it is a quality that you possess.
We all need acceptance and to some extent fear rejection. If you are like most people, negative feedback can be difficult and actually increase your feelings of inadequacy. Yet, the paradox is that in order to discover your true self, you need to ask questions and be willing to get feedback. When you already view yourself through a cloudy mirror, this quest for honest feed back becomes a tremendous risk.
In order to become more authentic, self awareness is vital and you will want to identify one or two “healthy” people in your life to assist you in this quest. These people should know you well, have no hidden agenda and be able to view you objectively. If you do not have such a person, you may want to consider going into counseling and establishing such a relationship. Once you develop this relationship and get honest feedback, observe your behavior using “soft mental notes” (see Jan 10 tip). If the feedback seems to feel accurate, observe the way you act, the way you are feeling, and the way the situation reminds you of your past without making any judgment. If the assessment lacks merit, let it go. Other people can be wrong! Finally, you will want to examine the amount of risk the change will demand. To do this you will want to consider the ROI (see Sept 08 tip), and ask yourself what is the benefit of my changing versus what will it cost me? As you get a clearer sense of who you were created to be, you will grow in confidence and take the necessary steps to self actualize into your true self.
Blog Question:
Identify 1 or 2 people who can objectively assess your strengths and weakness.
How do you tend to dismiss your strengths?
Low self esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on. Maxwell Maltz
In the February tip, I suggested that you list some of your positive qualities. How did you do? I gave the same challenge to some of my clients and they found the assignment difficult. Was this assignment hard for you? I decided to try the experiment myself. I focused on one of my clients and quickly listed all of her positive traits. In 4 minutes, I was able to come up with 32 positive qualities that she possessed. She could not come up with one. How is it that I can see them and she can not? Why is it she suffers from a poor self esteem, failing to see her own goodness? What mirror is she looking in?
Do you have a poor self esteem? Are you blinded to your positive personality traits? Were you taught to see yourself through a critical mirror or a mirror of modesty? Either mirror will cloud your perception of your true self and create unawareness regarding your strengths.
A critical mirror comes from critical parents and teachers who practice conditional love. When achievements are qualified or overly examined for “your own good”, you develop an inadequate sense of self and tend to compare yourself to others’ best. This places you in a dilemma. The reality of life is that there is usually someone who is better than you in something; if that becomes your focus you become blind to your own achievements.
When you see yourself through a critical mirror, you tend to sell yourself short and over compensate with others thus creating negative relationships. If you notice that friends, co-workers or family continue to use you or take advantage of you, look at your view of self and your feelings of entitlement or empowerment. Notice if many of the people in your life have personalities and styles of behavior that treat you with disrespect. Begin to identify the pattern and your typical response to their requests. Here is a hint: the pattern often stems from a childhood relationship pattern. A few questions to ask yourself are: ”When was the first time this happened to me?” “How did I feel then?” “Do I have similar feelings now?” Recall the dynamics that you had with your family and childhood friends. Think about their assessment of you, what they expected, and how they treated you. This created your mirror image.
Does everything seem to go wrong in your life? This perception may be false and due to a poor self assessment. When you have a poor self esteem there is a tendency to personalize every problem that comes your way. When you become comfortable with your authentic self, you tend to be more resilient, develop self-confidence, and shrug off set backs more easily.Martha Beck states that “choice is far more powerful than chance in determining the pattern of our success or failure” (O magazine July 02). Perception is reality. If you expect failure and rejection, you will view every bump in the road as a set back, as opposed to an adventure or an opportunity that life is inviting you to experience. As I write this tip, I am sitting in an airport with an unexpected 4 hour delay. Rather than curse my bad luck, I pulled out my journal and began to hand write this tip. Suddenly, the Universe gave me 4 uninterrupted hours to write!
If you were frequently criticized growing up, you will view yourself as small and inadequate. You will tend to ignore the positive and focus on the negative comments and events in your life. The ordinary blips of life will appear to be further proof that the Universe is conspiring against you, just like everyone else. In order to accept the goodness within, you need to be willing to listen to and believe positive feedback and begin to focus on your successes, as well as your failures. You need to stop looking at yourself through the critical mirror.
How accurate is your self assessment? Do you need a new self image mirror? Do you lack awareness of your authentic self and your positive qualities?In Mid April, part II will continue this discussion and offer more thoughts and ideas on how to improve your self esteem. In the meantime, if you have any specific questions, please send them to me and I will attempt to answer them.
Blog question:
How would you describe yourself?
What is one positive quality about yourself that you repeatedly hear?
We judge ourselves, and measure ourselves, not against our own “norm” or “par” but against some other individual’s norm. - Maxwell Maltz
Top of the morning to you! Earlier this month, I wrote about some of the traits that lucky people possess. Some of you wrote that creating your own good luck was a concept that you had never thought about and asked that I write more about the traits of lucky people.Lucky people tend to be persistent. Have you ever stopped to think about how much work famous athletes or actors have done to get to their place of fame? Yes, some of it is luck, but much of it is from determination and persistence. According to Justin Sachs, author of The Power of Persistence, “being persistent is the key proponent to being successful”. He encourages people to “keep doing it as long it takes you…keep moving forward.”
Lucky people trust their gut and listen to body wisdom, as opposed to the opinion of others and the values of the world. Successful people do the necessary due diligence; they take the time to explore all the options and ramifications involved in a particular decision or action. When a decision is unclear, lucky people follow the dictate of Wisdom “if it is possible, when in doubt do nothing“.
Lucky people take themselves less seriously. They laugh at themselves often and loudly and appreciate the absurdity in life. They develop a good sense of humor and seek out opportunities to laugh, as they cultivate other positive people who also laugh and enjoy life. Lucky people feel good about themselves and can risk becoming humorous and making others laugh at their expense.
You would “act as if” you are lucky. You would believe that the Universe does smile on you and behave differently. Starting today, if you were to “act as if” you were lucky, would you seize the moment rather than wait for life to happen? Would you begin to analyze alternatives and take small necessary steps to explore a new career, friends or a hobby? Would you take more risks and tell yourself “what is the worst that can happen?” St. Patrick’s Day is upon us. Why not decide to be lucky, even if it is just for a day!
Blog questions:
In what area of your life do you feel lucky?
What of the above traits are you willing to try in order to be lucky?
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day. “Go n-éirí an t-ádh leat! Ádh mór ort“! (Good luck in Gaelic)
As we enter March, and the approach of St. Patrick’s day, I wonder if one has to be Irish in order to have good luck. Do you consider yourself lucky? Have you ever wondered why someone else has good luck and not you? What traits do “lucky” people possess? It might surprise you to know that lucky people view life and themselves differently than unlucky people. The “lucky” do not ever see them selves as unlucky and they view the world as benevolent and friendly. What would happen if you began to behave as if you were lucky?
You wouldthink as one who already has abundance. Your outer posture would become more positive; you would take better care of your physical appearance, smile often and easily and enjoy the little things in life. Because you feel lucky, you would view life as safer, more intriguing and be able to take greater risks. When set backs arise, you would be conscious of the power of defeating thoughts and words and use more positive reframes (see April 2008 tip).
You would be moreoptimistic. You would have a positive stance, view the glass as half full and acknowledge what you have as opposed to your “bad luck”. You would be more joyful and expect to get what you want from the Universe. Because lucky people come across happier and more positive, people respond in kind, thus making them appear even luckier. When things go wrong, those who feel lucky roll with it. They do not see themselves as unlucky. They are resilient and simply re-adjust their perspective and figure out what to do next.
You would becomemore conscious of all the wealth that is in your life, and develop an “Attitude of Gratitude” (see tip June 2008) and feel blessed. Your new perspective would allow you to become more available, listen more attentively and praise others. People would sense your good will and respond with generosity and kindness, thus making you feel even luckier. When you act as if you are lucky, you are able to approach the world with a twinkle in your eye and a friendly attitude. You take risks and ask for what you want. As a result, I find that people often go out of their way to accommodate my request and the Universe generally smiles on me. My motto in life is “what do I have to lose”? Or “what’s the worse that can happen”? Do you have good luck and get singled out for kindness? Would you like to be?
I have a challenge for you. The next time you are in a public place make believe you are Irish. Try smiling, be extra friendly, make eye contact then ask for a perk and see it if you get it. Look beyond the mundane and see meaning and enjoyment in your life as you see if you can become lucky….
Blog quest:
Name someone that you think is lucky? What traits do they possess?
“Some men are born to live at ease, doing what they please… Richer than the bees are in honey. Never growing old, never feeling cold, pulling pots of gold from thin air” (All for the Best” by Stephen Schwartz)
