What if I live or work with a “C” level person aka “Energy Vampire”?
This is the most common question that I am asked after my presentation. I want to give you a definition of a “C” level person, and some techniques to help you to protect your emotional energy.
A “C” level person does not have to be inherently bad but rather can be a good person and someone you love very much. It is their outlook on life and their energy that is negative and can leach out and smear everyone that they encounter. They may be critical and complain, depressed, or just view life negatively. They are like a cloud that descends on a sunny day. You know that you have been with a “C” level person because you usually leave the encounter feeling drained. In her book Positive Energy, Judith Orloff calls the “C” level person an “energy vampire” and Wikipedia defines the “energy vampire” as a being that feeds off the “life force” of others.
A clue that you are with a “C” level person is somatic or emotional symptoms. Your body may feel tense, you might get a headache, a stomach ache or feel tired and listless. Since negativity is contagious, you may find you complain more or become more judgmental. Your self image may take a nose dive as you begin to feel somewhat incompetent, bumbling, self doubting; you go from feeling strong and confident to small and insecure.
If you live, love or work with a “C” level person, the first thing that you need to do is admit it because recognition is the first step to healing. Recognizing that a person is a “C” level does not mean that you care for the person any less; quite the contrary, the more we care about a person, the more vulnerable we are to their energy. Once you realize that you are in the presence of a “C” level person try these tips:
1. Step back from them.
A. Physically: If it is possible, avoid “C” level people or set time limits with them; lessen the duration or the frequency of the interaction. When you are in their presence, take one physical step back from them. This will help move you away from their energy sphere and the negative energy will not leach on to you.
B. Emotionally/Energetically: Ground yourself before the encounter by prayer, meditation, mindfulness, breath work or visualization. You want to develop a daily habit of “grounding” in order to retrieve positive energy when you need it. Create a visual “armor” to surround your self; it could be a shield, a raincoat or what ever works for you. An easy imagery is to imagine a cloak of light surrounding and protecting you as it emanates outward.
2. Note it and let it go.
Allow yourself to observe the feelings you are having and name them without judgment. Take a deep breath in and as you slowly exhale, send away any negative thoughts or feelings that are swirling around you. Two easy visualizations are: taking the negativity and putting it in a hot air balloon and sending it up in the sky or placing negativity in a boat on a still lake and sending it off into the sunset.
3. Push back.
Before you confront anyone, ground yourself through prayer or meditation, in order to be more connected to God’s wisdom and energy. Once you are connected to the “Universe”, you will become more authentic and be better able to speak the truth. While meditating, begin to visualize sending blessings to the person that you plan to challenge and this will help you stay benevolent, neutral and loving during the encounter. A simple formula is as follows: Stay grounded in God through daily prayer. The grounding will help you to be authentic and enable you to speak the truth, in a neutral way, as you emit blessing to the other person.
Reflective Exercise:
Name three “C” level people in your life.
Name the techniques you will use in order to remove their impact on you?