Learn how to change your thoughts and become more positive.
This month’s tip will teach you how to change your thought pattern to increase positive thinking. It is important to learn how to develop a positive attitude because not only will you be happier, it will also keep you healthy! Carolyn Myss, author of Why People Don’t Heal, states that we need to retain at least 60% of our positive emotional energy, in order for healing to occur. One way to do this is to shift from “stinky thinking” to an upbeat point of view. You will want to learn these skills when life is going smoothly, so you can draw on them when a crisis occurs.
Below you will find some specific techniques to help you “Try a New Perspective”!
A. Reframing -Sometimes we are not pleased about a situation or person. But rather than give it lots of energy, practice saying the least negative statement that would still be true and you will find that it does not bother you as much. In addition, remove the word “hate” from your vocabulary. If you are honest with yourself there are probably very few things in this world you “hate” or are “furious” about. Try to notch these statements down and use “I don’t like” or “I don’t care for it” as substitutes. These are gentler words that are still true but evoke less energy than “hate”.
B. Focus on the positive rather than the negative. We have all heard this many times. It is the glass half full idea. You can focus on how little water is left or how much you still have; both views are equally true. Along these lines, catch people and yourself doing something right and say it! How often do you think to yourself, “What a nice job” and not say it? See how much better you feel when you acknowledge a good deed or achievement.
This week, right after I had written this tip, I saw a billboard that encompassed both ideas. It had a child with a paint brush in hand and bright colors painted on the wall. The poster said “Is this a mess or a work of art? Underneath the picture was written: “It’s all in the perspective; catch someone doing a good job”.
C. Repeat Affirmations that are true. My favorite affirmation is from a medieval woman mystic, Julia of Norwich. It is “All is well”. As I continue to repeat that mantra, my body relaxes because I know even if there are some blips going on at the moment; in the scheme of life, all is well.
Another affirmation that I use when I am feeling pressured for time is, “I have all the time I need”. By saying this, I begin to relax get more productive and end up having the time I need.
D. Make neutral statements about challenging situations. I have practically eliminated 2 other words from my vocabulary: “have to” and “I should”. Think about something that you are going to do tomorrow. Put that activity into this sentence, “I have to______________”. How does your body feel? Now try repeating it using the phrase, “I am going to____________”. Notice how much more relaxed you are about the same activity.
The word “should” has become a red flag for me as well and one I try to avoid. It tends to create guilt and pressure and is often motivated by unrealistic expectations. When I say the word “should”, I question whether the action is one that I need to be doing at the moment. Generally, when God is calling me to an activity, even a challenging or unpleasant task, there is more of a feeling of “I am going to” as opposed to “I should”.
E. Use Humor. A few years ago, Loretta La Roche wrote a book entitled, Relax: You Have Only a Few Minutes Left. In it, she contends that “life is a sitcom and you are the star”. I love this metaphor. When we begin to look at the humor in life, we ease up and stop taking it all so seriously and we get less caught up in the drama of the situation. Another use of humor is to rent funny movies, see a stand up comedienne, and seek out humorous people. Have you ever noticed that when you are with hilarious people you laugh more and even start to get funny? When I am especially down, I turn to any source that is going to make me laugh. Like the smile, laughter creates serotonin which eases pain. Make the decision today to lighten up. Joke a little and laugh at life. Laugh at yourself and learn the power of humor to increase your positive energy and help you to lighten up.
Reflective Exercise:
- Choose one of the above techniques to practice this week. Let us know how you did with it by writing a comment below.
- Choose a “negative” word from your vocabulary that you intend to eliminate or reframe or one week. Comment below on the result.