“Embracing life fully”

Summer is upon us and it is a great time of year to learn how to enjoy your day in a new and deeper way as you “embrace life” more fully. When I speak about embracing life fully, I am inviting you to switch your thought pattern from the mundane and ordinary to a happier more positive channel. I am suggesting that you train your eyes to see the joy in nature, even if you live in the city. Pay attention to nature as you feel the breeze, see the stars, observe cloud patterns, watch the birds and notice the trees.  This month I will offer some suggestions that will help you become more relaxed, as you begin to have fun in the ordinary.

1. Live in the present moment because it is the only thing that you can control. Alcoholics Anonymous states this philosophy in the famous Serenity Prayer. In the book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, staying in the present moment is a major theme of the novel that is explored through a wonderful tale.

   It is fine to make plans for the future to attain your goal but once those plans are made, stop obsessing over them. When you release them, you begin to enjoy God in the present moment and you are able to stay creative and adaptable to any necessary, unexpected changes that might arise.

   In Summer is upon us and it is a great time of year to learn how to enjoy your day in a new and deeper way as you “embrace life” more fully.   When I speak about embracing life fully, I am inviting you to switch your thought pattern from the mundane and ordinary to terms of the past, it is important to learn from your mistakes, so some reflection is necessary and helpful but give it a time limit and move on. When your thoughts are stuck in memories and feelings of the past “note it, feel it fully and let it go”. (See February Tip) If there is nothing more that you can do about a situation at this particular time, give yourself a little shake and make the intention to focus your attention on something positive. (This is where the beauty of nature can be helpful).

   2. Access your gut and you ask yourself what do I really feel like doing today or at this time?  (See March tip) Be honest and pay attention to the desire that bubbles up within you then make plans to do it! In my therapy practice, I use a technique that I call “Magic Wand” to help my clients access their current desire. I will ask them the following question, “if you had a magic wand and you could do what you want right now, what you would do?”  Even if the answer is not possible at the moment, it allows the person to get in touch with what he/she would like.  Knowing what you want is the first step in attaining it. For example, one time a client accessed that she wanted to go away with her husband for a weekend.  They had little children and their money was tight which made a weekend away impossible. Having accessed the desire to have alone time with her husband, she hired a babysitter and they went out to dinner.

3. Create a list of “Touchstones” of fun ideas that you can use as a reference. In her book, The Artist Way, Julia Cameron has an exercise where the reader makes a quick list of things that they love.  I have modified the exercise and have written lists of activities that make me happy or that I want to do when I have free time. I keep this list handy and when I am bored or sad, I pull out my list and do something fun. I would encourage you to write your own list today. This way when you have no real plans or are restless, you will have a wonderful list of intriguing, fun ideas that will inspire you to embrace your day.

4. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude.  In 2003, Sara Ban Breathnach wrote a book entitled Simple Abundance. Her premise was as follows: “have a beautiful blank book and each night before going to bed, write down five things that you are grateful about that day. Some days the list will be filled with amazing things, most days just simple joys”.  I want to suggest a variation on her philosophy. When you awaken in the morning begin your day with the sentence “I am grateful for…” and become aware of a person or situation that you appreciate.  I find this awareness immediately jump starts my day into thinking of something that makes me happy. I do this same reflection before I go to sleep, as I recall one thing in the day that made me happy. A secondary gain to this exercise is that I am more conscious of the positive occurrences through out the day because I am looking for something to remember in the evening.  Finally, by recalling a delight of the day, I generally fall asleep in a calmer, happier, more relaxed frame of mind.

5. Re-read some of the previous month tips and adapt them.  I am especially thinking of the April and May tips on how to have a more positive attitude.

6. Have “Adventures” as often as possible throughout the day.  Whenever possible, I try to have the mindset of an 8 year old boy.  I chose this image because a child of 8 tends to be happy go lucky, inquisitive, uninhibited and spontaneous. I have also chosen to act like a little boy rather than a girl, because by this age, girls, unfortunately, have already been socialized to be nice, stay clean and defer their desires to others.  

     As I go about my day, I will sometimes ask myself “what would this child do right now”?  He would buy an ice cream cone and sit on the curb and eat it, he would ask people lots of questions, he would wander down a path in the woods, just because it is there.  When I adopt this mindset, I take myself less seriously and have a whole lot more fun.

     In summary, summer is here and I hope that you will commit to using a few of these tips to embrace your life more fully.  In the meantime, I have decided to practice what I preach. Summer vacation is here and I m going to suspend all “non-essential” activity and I have decided to hop in my little red car and have some “adventures”.  I want to encourage you to continue to write your blog comments and also to email me the topics that you want me to write about. I will be back in September.

    May you be well and have lots of adventures.   

Reflection Question or blog comment:

1. Write 10 things that you wish you would do this summer. (It could be as simple as eating a flavored ice pop or walking barefoot in the grass).

2. Figure out an action plan and go do them. Write to us and let us know what you did.