Halloween is over and the stores are now in high gear for the holidays. That does not mean that you have to be too.  This month, I am going to offer you some suggestions to assist you in having a more serene holiday.  If you have been listening to my CD and reading my tips you will not be surprised to find that my first recommendation is to make the intention to have a calm and fun holiday season.  Write this intention down and post it where you can see it and repeat it regularly. I also suggest that you incorporate the following suggestions into your holiday preparations to help you discover the experiences and values that are important.

I. Identify the people that you wish to be with during the holidays and the activities that you would enjoy doing.  Once you have identified this schedule in some time to do these activities or to be with these people and keep it simple. When you clarify who and what is important to you, you are better able to make a more conscious effort to do fulfill your goal. Critically examine all of your holiday invitations and activities and honestly ask yourself on a scale of 1-10, how much do you really want to do it and on a scale of 1-10 how much do I have to do it. Then factor in ROI.  (September 2008 tip). We all have some mandatory personal obligations, such as the office holiday party or a family dinner, that we simply must attend.  If these situations drain you, limit the amount of time that you need to be at the “festivity”; show up late and leave early and before you go make sure that you are “emotionally grounded”. (See January 2008 tip about “C” level people).

II. Commit to a Healthy lifestyle. (Read the October 2008 tip: Reducing stress). During the weeks before the holidays, we get so busy that we forget to take care of our self. Make the commitment to live differently this year.

     Eat healthy and regularly each day, as you add more fruits and vegetables to your diet. Susan Colon, editor of O Magazine, states that by eating an apple 15 minutes before lunch you will consume 190 fewer calories at your meal. In addition, when you eat regularly you keep your blood sugar level and have more energy. If you are going to a party, make the decision to enjoy the “special” food that is served. Eat that apple or some other healthy alternative before the party to help you to eat smaller quantities and drink less alcohol. Alcohol adds hidden calories and increases your appetite. Add extra ice to your alcoholic drinks and alternate your drink with a glass of cold water. If by chance you over indulge at the party, note it and let it go!!!! When you beat yourself up with recriminations you will feel guilty and eat even more the next day as a self sabotage. Each day is a blank slate and you can begin anew with healthy eating habits.

  Get adequate sleep as you make the decision to go to bed at a realistic time and wake up with a plan on how to embrace your day. When the alarm goes off: get out of bed quickly, do some stretches, take a shower and begin to plan your day.  (Once I am fully awake, I also add prayer/meditation before I start my day to help keep me centered).

 Make time for some type of physical movement to relieve stress. Intense exercise would be best, but even a brisk walk at lunch time will clear your head and spirit.

III. Keep it Simple, Delegate and ask for Assistance.  Take time to critically assess your “to do list” for the holidays and begin to eliminate the non-essential activities and people that usually consume you. Do you really have to send Christmas cards to everyone? Do you have to bake all those cookies? (Could you use some refrigerated dough instead?)

    When someone asks you what food they can bring to your party, TELL THEM! If you are vague, you will end up providing all the food and drink yourself because you are not sure what else will be there. Allow others to supplement the party rather than complement it. (?) If no one offers to assist you, ask them.  This Thanksgiving, I have volunteered to make the desserts for 25 people.  In order to get this done in a non-stressful way, I am having a “baking” party with my family and asking them to assist me in making the pies and cakes (and I will probably follow my own advice and use pre-made pie crust).

IV. Lower the gift giving bar. Talk to your family and friends about changing your gift giving tradition to cut down on the shopping stress.  Could it be eliminated? If not, you could pick a name out of a hat and buy a larger gift for one member, as opposed to many smaller gifts for everyone in the family. You could decide to buy one large family gift that you all can share. You could make the decision to opt out of gift giving and give to a favorite charity like my husband’s family did last year.   Each adult sibling researched and selected a charity to donate their “gift” money. On Christmas Eve, when the family gathered together, each person shared the charity that they had selected and the outcome of the donation. One sister, a visiting nurse, decided to give her money to an indigent client that she served. Her co-workers were so impressed with her generosity that they all chipped money in and the director matched it!  My husband selected a man in Africa through a non-profit organization called, kiva.org that gives out loans. He lent him money through the agency. As of this writing, the money has been repaid and we will loan it to someone else.

   The benefit of this type of “gift” exchange is many. It helped someone else, it allowed all of us to be less stressed because we did not have to try to buy a gift for someone who has everything that they need and we were able to model charitable giving to our children.

  V. Lead a more spiritual life to better prepare for the holidays.  Take the time to meditate/pray at least 3 minutes a day. Make the decision to go to church, mosque or temple each week and share your spirituality with others. Cultivating spirituality can help uncover what is meaningful to you and decrease stress by eliminating some of the unimportant activities that consume you. Connect to your community through one act of volunteerism this season. It will put your blessings in perspective and you will feel that you have more of a purpose in the world.

Reflection Questions or Blog Comment:

1. To help you determine who and what you value, ask yourself: Where do I get comfort? Who gives me hope and joy?  What draws me closer to God
2. What gift alternatives can you suggest?