The Universe always seems to offer us what we need. At the end of the summer, I was contemplating ways that I could maintain my “summer rhythm” and keep inner peace while the distractions in my life increased again.  I pondered my dilemma while staying at my friend’s beach house. While in her guest room, I picked up the book Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.  Now, for years, I have seen this book in her guest room. I own it and have read it about 4 times. Once again, I picked it up and began to read.

   Although it was written in 1955, Lindbergh’s messages are not only contemporary, but her theme is similar, if not identical, to Julia Cameron’s message and my own philosophy in Journey Back to Self.  Since this book reminded me of some essential truths, I have decided to take some of Lindbergh’s wisdom and adapted it into Journey Back to Self Language.

    In order to stay balanced, we need to alternate our rhythm between life giving activities and service. Lindberg believes that “a life of multiplicity” leads not to unification but to fragmentation. We tend to have interests and duties that go in many directions and to various people.  The challenge becomes discovering the ways to remain grounded and balanced, no matter what demands and distractions come into our daily lives and challenge our peace and balance.   It is challenging for us to achieve a balance in the midst of these contradictory tensions, and yet how necessary for healthy functioning in our lives.   The value placed on the importance of multitasking, the demands of daily living and our constant availability through phones, emails and BlackBerrys tm runs counter to having a contemplative, serene life.

   If this is your current reality, what can you do to change it???  This month, I am going to encourage you to try three things as antidotes to this dilemma in an effort to help you to relax and have a more balanced, serene life.

1.      Simplification – I encourage you to take some time and reflect on this question:   

“What objects or possessions are really necessary in my life?” This question will invite you to begin purging non-essentials: old clothes, magazines, “dust collectors”. Consider donating all those things that you hang on to “just in case”. They take up valuable space in your home and your mind as the clutter distracts and robs serenity.  But simplification of our outward life is only the beginning. It is one technique that helps to acquire the grace to simplify your interior.  

    Next, I would invite you to have an interior purging. Examine your notions about absolute tidiness and cleanliness.  Explore your false idea about how important your achievements, material possessions and appearance really make on others. Our false beliefs keep us acquisitive and on a never ending upward ladder of achievement that is exhausting.

   Finally, I invite you to shed the mask that you present to others in order to be accepted. As intimidating as it may be, I encourage you to become your authentic self. Be honest about your desires and limitations because being insincere is exhausting.  When you are estranged from your authentic self, you also become estranged from others. Only when you connect to your core are you able to truly connect to people.  The best way to find your authentic self is in solitude which I will talk more about in this tip.

 2.  Calculate ROI.  Ask yourself on a scale of 1-10, what is the benefit this person will derive from my doing their request? Also on a scale of 1-10, what will it cost me? (See September 08 tip for fuller explanation). We instinctively want to give, yet we tend to resent giving our self away purposelessly. We need to begin to discern whether the expectations and requests made to us are important, realistic or someone else’s job.

3. Taking time for Solitude is crucial in order to remain centered and balanced. It is also one of the things most sabotaged in contemporary society.  Solitude competes with television, radio and Ipods blasting in every room of the house. And as mentioned before, many of us are constantly “connected” via phones and “BlackBerries” tm .  What if you made a conscious decision to disconnect for a specific period of time??  What if you decided to turn off all electronic devices?

    If we are expected to give to others, we must be replenished. We must become convinced that we are entitled to take a day off or an hour off and have solitude. Yet we feel unjustified in our demand, burdened by all there is to “do” and we rarely even make the attempt for this solitude. You must consciously create the space for solitude, in order to oppose the frenetic forces of today. We need solitude in order to find our true desires and our true authenticity

                  The question becomes:  Once you have created the opening, how do you fill your “emotional pitcher”?  What can you do?  This is where Cameron’s “touchstones” come in handy.  A touchstone is a running list of fun ideas or adventures that you would like to do when you “have the time”(see June 08 tip)   in order to nourish and fill your “emotional pitcher”. It can be a creative experience, an experience in nature, a physical activity. It is anything you do that helps you to loose track of time, still your mind and make you feel content and full.

It is only when we fill our pitcher and keep our authentic self in tact, that we will acquire the necessary energy to give to our family, our friends or the world at large.

      Thomas Merton wrote, “There is a pervasive form of contemporary violence… overwork. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything… destroys our inner capacity for peace…. it kill  inner wisdom… and is a form of violence to ourselves.”  This month, I invite you to reflect on your life. Are you committing violence? If so, for how long will you be able to keep up this pace? What collateral damage is being done as you try to do it all?

Reflection/Blog Questions:

1. What keeps you engaged in the constant demands of  life?
2. If you were to create some “free” time, what would you do?

  “We spill our self away in driblets to the thirsty, seldom being allowed the time, the quiet, the peace , to let the pitcher fill up to the brim”.  (Adapted from Gift of the Sea)